Everything About Vietnamese Wedding You May Need

A Vietnamese wedding is no exception to the rule that a wedding is a spectacular event that signifies a significant turning point in anyone's life. While celebrations and parties are a staple of Vietnamese weddings, they are also not to be taken lightly as there are many traditions and guidelines that must be followed by all parties. It's normal for soon-to-be grooms and brides to feel overwhelmed, which is understandable.

One of the most significant and elaborate Vietnamese traditions is the wedding. This ritual is regarded as the happiest day of one's life in other nations as well. To learn more about Vietnamese wedding traditions and customs, let's continue reading!

Vietnamese Wedding Ceremonies

Proposal Ceremony (Dam Ngo)

The proposal ceremony, one of the oldest wedding traditions still practiced in Vietnamese society today, is when the families of the prospective bride and groom come together to discuss the possibility of getting married. During this meeting, the groom's family will ask the bride's family's permission for the children to have a legal relationship with one another. The bride's family typically receives betel and areca as gifts from the groom's family during this event, which frequently lacks elaborate customs. The major goal of this gathering is to facilitate communication between the two families over the impending marriage. A successful marriage is thought to have a successful proposal ceremony.

Engagement Party (Dam Hoi)

Engagement, which serves as an official announcement of the wedding, frequently occurs six months to a year before the event. The majority of marriages in the past were organized by the parents, and the children were forced to accept their parents' decisions. Because it initiates the relationship between two families, this event is therefore thought to be more significant than being married.

The bride's engagement ceremony marks a significant turning point in her life as she formally becomes the groom's fiancée. The date of the engagement is frequently carefully picked by both families according to the couples' birthdays and the time when they were born in accordance with the lunar calendar. Engagement is less important in today's society than it once was since the bride and groom frequently strive to cut back on superfluous traditions. A month or a few days before their wedding, many couples choose to celebrate their engagement.

The presents typically come in pairs, symbolizing the marriage, and include betel and areca, husband-wife cake (Banh phu the), wine, tea, an engagement ring, and a roasted pig. Because odd numbers and the color red are thought to bring good fortune and happiness to young couples, the fiancé's family arranged these gifts prior to the engagement, arranging them on an odd number of trays, and covering the entire arrangement with red fabric.

There are 5, 7, or 9 male members of the fiancé's family who deliver the gift trays, and there are also an equal number of female members of the fiancée's family who receive them. It is a condition that those who give or receive engagement gifts have not already tied the knot. These folks are frequently close family or friends of the bride and groom.

The fiancé's family will deliver their present to the fiancée's family on the day of the engagement. Following the receiving-gift ceremony, the pair will worship in front of the fiancée's family altar to seek the ancestors' blessing. Then, to the delight of both families, the fiancé can present the engagement ring to his fiancée. The bride, and maybe even the groom, will dress in the traditional Vietnamese attire known as ao dai for this event.

Wedding Reception (Dam Cuoi)

The wedding and engagement dates are carefully selected and typically picked by a Buddhist monk or a fortune teller. Before the wedding, the groom's family would visit the bride's house once more bearing gifts of betel and areca and formally requesting to be received. The bride's family will confirm the wedding and other events one last time.

The bride will be welcomed at her home by the groom's family and a few of their close friends on the day of the wedding. The couple would turn to their parents, seeking their counsel and bowing to them after a ceremonial tea and candle ceremony and a few words. The bride would get jewels from the mother of the groom as good luck.

The groom's home or a restaurant will host the wedding celebration. Many weddings have long receptions with many guests, lasting two to three days. The couple will greet visitors and pose for photos before the main ceremony while they stand by the door. The ceremony will begin with the introduction of the host, amid loud applause from the audience, as the couple makes their way to the platform.

Wedding reception (Le Don Dau or Vu Quy)

The pair will host a wedding reception to wrap up the traditional wedding ceremony. In the modern day, this ritual typically takes place immediately following the betrothal ceremony. After bidding her parents and relatives farewell, the bride will accompany the groom to his home. Tradition dictates that the mother of the bride must remain at home and keep her tears hidden since they signify sadness. The couple will light incense in front of the ancestors once they arrive at the bride's house. Last but not least, before the wedding itself in the evening, all guests will congregate at the groom's residence for lunch or a thank you feast.

What is in the red gift boxes?

The gifts that the groom and his family brought to the bride's home on the day of the engagement are represented by the red gift boxes, or le vat in Vietnamese. These presents can be thought of as the groom's family's way of saying "thank you" to the bride's family for welcoming the groom into the family. There will be six to eight gifts from the groom's family, each with a special significance. Here's how I'll explain it:

- The betel nut: Symbolizes loyalty & love and is the most significant bridal present.

- Tea and alcohol: Are gifts that the bride and groom are giving to honor their ancestors. In order to obtain their ancestors' approval and blessings for the union, people will place tea and alcohol on the altar.

- Fresh fruit: The couple will enjoy a happy marriage and many children as a result of this pleasant gift, as the Vietnamese people consider children to be gifts from God. A family is more fortunate the more children they have. Consequently, they previously had a large family.

- Wedding cake: One of the following cakes is placed in the box: pia cake (banh pia), young rice cake (banh com), Vietnamese husband and wife cake (banh phu the), or the traditional wedding cake (the one which is usually used for birthdays). To illustrate the couple's unwavering love, it symbolizes the five yin and yang aspects. In certain places, roasted pork will take the place of the cake.

- Traditional wedding attire: As a gift for the bride, some families bring a traditional ao dai in red. After the groom and his family bring it to their home, the mother will give the ao dai to her daughter to wear on the day of her engagement.

Dos and Don'ts at Vietnamese Weddings

- If there is no "+" symbol or other names next to your name on your wedding invitation, don't invite anyone.

- Don't consume alcohol at the wedding. While some Vietnamese do get drunk after drinking beer during the wedding ceremony, it would be rude to the other guests.

- Don't criticize the meal or the standard of the wedding to the bride or the groom.

- If a member in your family recently passed away, avoid attending weddings. Vietnamese people believe that this is bad karma for the bride and husband.

- Dress appropriately. It's highly advised to wear smart casual. Let the couple enjoy their day and refrain from wearing garish colors or patterns.

What Gifts to Bring to a Vietnamese Wedding

In Vietnam, cash is always a welcome gift because it helps the bride and groom defray the expense of the wedding. The envelope containing the wedding invitation card should be filled with the fortunate money. You will notice the bride and groom's family members or friends standing next to a table with a little, attractive box where you can place the envelopes at the wedding reception. Depending on your level of proximity to the newlyweds, you might contribute more or less than the usual amount of VND 500,000. As it is customary to offer money as a wedding gift, if you would want to give something else instead, you should let the bride and groom know in advance.

Other Wedding Customs in Vietnam

Vietnam has a variety of ethnic and religious groupings, hence there are other wedding traditions that are unique to those communities. For instance, arranged weddings are still common among some minorities, Catholics typically have a ceremony in the church prior to the wedding reception, and in Tay Nguyen, the girl can choose her future spouse and propose marriage to him. If you plan to attend one of these weddings, be sure to fully understand the locals' customs because they differ significantly from the majority's (fun) practices.

A summary of the traditions and customs associated with Vietnamese weddings

Similar to many other Asian nations, the Vietnamese wedding is significant for both the bride and groom and their families. The traditional wedding has steadily evolved in modern society to save time and money, but the fundamental traditions - such as expressing appreciation to the parents and asking for their consent to marry- remain.

Have you ever attended a wedding in Vietnam? If so, please share your knowledge with us in the comment area below.